Friday, April 12, 2013

The Burdens of Being Upright

If you want to read about booze, food, or CLE happenings, this post is not for you. However, if you've been following my blog for any length of time and wondered why I fell off the face of the earth, here's an update for you...

Blogging is one of those things that I think you're either really into or really apathetic about. After my series of life changing events last fall, I had a lot to talk about. A lot to get off my chest. A lot of feelings to sort through. I shared a lot of very personal things about me on my blog. Heck, I probably even over-shared. But getting my feelings out of my head and into the world helped me to heal and move on. (in addition to all of the love and support I received from my amazing friends and family)

My mother (who happens to always be right, even when I think she isn't) assured me that the funk I was in would eventually fade, that my life would go on, and that I would realize that all of the crappy stuff I'd gone through happened for a reason so I could ultimately be a lot happier. She told me the catalyst for all of this was me buying a house. ("Everything is going to fall into place once you have your own house again.") I doubted her, but she was right. After I bought my house, I felt like a regained a sense of purpose. When I felt sad, I painted something. Or organized something. Or unpacked boxes. Every change I made to my house made it feel more like home and helped me to regain my sense of stability and sanity.

As the sad fog cleared, I wanted to live life again. Go out. Have fun. Entertain. Enjoy making new memories in my new house. And I've been pretty successful with that. 2013 has been action packed. I've gone out and had a lot of fun, met a lot of great people, and really enjoyed living my life the way I want to live it for the first time in a really long time. I'm in a new relationship with a person who likes me for me (it's still a very foreign concept) and makes me feel beautiful, and special, and loved every minute of every day.

The culmination of my journey from sad to happy occurred when I converted to Catholicism at Easter. Attending Al Anon meetings really gave me a sense of spirituality, and I felt like the time was right to really let go and let God, and start my life anew through baptism, confirmation, and first communion.  One of my best friends served as my godmother (sponsor), and on Easter Eve I joined the Catholic family with my mom, my boyfriend, and some of my good friends by my side.  I know this might seem a little out of character for me, but I really felt "right." My overall stance on religion still stands - I think it's a very personal thing. It's not my place to judge, criticize, or convert. You do your thing and I'll do mine.

So the moral of this story is, no matter how dark things may seem in your life, how awful your struggles may be, you need to keep moving. Whether physically or mentally. Nothing bad lasts forever. Every day you wake up on the "right side of the earth" is a gift and you need to try and enjoy every moment of it.

And now back to your regularly scheduled vegetarian blogging...

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