Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Thirty Days of Thankful - Day 14 - Online Dating

Note: Today is day 14 in my series "30 Days of Thankful."

"You are soooo lucky! I'd kill to be single again."

If I had a nickel for every married person who's told me that, I'd be rich. I wish I shared their enthusiasm for being suddently single. 

I'm what most people would classify as a serial monogamist. I've been in a serious relationship for the better part of 12 years. So if you're doing the math, the last time Roxanne was in the dating pool, she was 19. The world is a lot different now than it was when I was 19. I honestly don't know the first thing about dating. For the past 12 years I've barely looked at anyone besides the person I was dating. And it's a little weird to suddenly be looking. 
So, I did what many newly single people do. I joined a dating site or 5. And then immediately got depressed. It wasn't that people weren't interested in talking to me. There were plenty of guys who messaged me. I immediately eliminated the ones who listed "sex" as their favorite activity. (c'mon, a little more subtle) I'm no supermodel, but...I have some standards, so that eliminated a lot more people. There were lots of creepy old men who messaged me. I'm sorry, but if you're older than my dad, game over. As a blogger and communications major, grammar FAILs also eliminated a bunch of people. I know writing is tough for a lot of people, but...if that's my first impression of you and you can't spell basic words or put a sentence together, I already know I'm not interested. I can say that having dozens of men randomly message you to tell you you're "hooottt" can be a confidene booster if you're having a bad day, though.

A seemingly normal person reached out to me early one Saturday morning. We excahnged emails. And then eventually exchanged phone numbers. When I got no less than 30 texts in a 24 hour period, I knew this person was going to be trouble. His obsessive level of interest was flattering, but when he revealed to me that his online photos were old, he had no job, and that he likes to wear his hair in a bun - like a samuri - I knew this relationship was over before it even got started.

I have since removed myself from every dating site I've joined. I will buy anything online - clothes, furniture, food...but I don't think I can find a boyfriend that way. I've been to a couple dating site weddings, and the couples I know who met that way are really happy...but that's just not me. Call me old school, but I'd like to meet someone in person. I don't know how to do that yet, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. And so for today, I'm thankful for online dating.

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